Wee Jim my had just finished a new book called
“How to be the Man of your House” and decided he was taking action.
He barges into the kitchen and announces to his wee Scottish wife, Mary ,
That “frae noo oan, you need tae ken that am the man o’ this hoose and ma word is law. Right”.
“So, the ‘nite you’ll prepare me a gourmet meal o’ ma choice and then, when I’m finished eating you’ll serve me a sumptous pooddin.
After dinner you’re comin up the stairs wi’ me an we’ll hae the kinda sex that a want for as long as a want it, and then you’ll run me a bath so a can relax.
You’ll wash my back, then dry me wi the towel and then help me intae ma fleecy pyjamas before you massage ma hauns an feet.
Then the morra mornin, guess who’s gonnae dress me, an comb ma hair?”
“Well” says Mary , “the f*** ing funeral director would be my first guess”
