Oh you Aussies

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Nick
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Oh you Aussies

Post by Nick » Fri Jun 08, 2012 6:14 am

Condom factory burns down in New Zealand:


John Key, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

"John, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emerginsee !! I've just received word thet the Durex factory un Aucklind has burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the und of the week!"

PM: "Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ru-uned."

Hilth Munister: "We're going to haff to shup some in from Britain ?"

PM: "No chance. Them Poms will have a field day on thus one."

Hilth Munister: "What about Australia ?"

PM: "I'll call Joolia Gillard. Tell her we need one mullion condoms, ten enches long and four enches thuck. That way they'll continue to respect the 'All Blacks'."

Three days later, a delighted John rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Post Office.

He finds one million condoms - 10 enches long, 4 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.

"MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM"
"Jesus Loves You."
Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.

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kiwigeo
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Re: Oh you Aussies

Post by kiwigeo » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:45 am

:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

Good one Nick.

Have you managed to escape from the snowed in Chem building yet??
Martin

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Nick
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Re: Oh you Aussies

Post by Nick » Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:25 am

Yep, everything back to normal, albeit with white around the edges :wink: Wasn't to bad on the east side unusually, only 3-4 inches, west side copped the most of it this time.They only shut the uni because there were a few rather large snow laden branches had snapped off under the weight (no guitar sized bits :evil: ) & they were fearful of further breakages falling on somebody important or something :?
"Jesus Loves You."
Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.

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Kim
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Re: Oh you Aussies

Post by Kim » Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:23 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Good yarn thanks Nick.

Cheers

Kim

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needsmorecowbel
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Re: Oh you Aussies

Post by needsmorecowbel » Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:48 pm

Nick wrote:Wasn't to bad on the east side unusually, only 3-4 inches, west side copped the most of it this time
Wow that was awkward when you read that section after you read the joke...haha

Kamusur
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Re: Oh you Aussies

Post by Kamusur » Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:51 pm

Medium size... It was probably just wushful thenking.

Steve

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kiwigeo
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Re: Oh you Aussies

Post by kiwigeo » Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:46 pm

Kamusur wrote:Medium size... It was probably just wushful thenking.

Steve
Thunking not thenking
Martin

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Re: Oh you Aussies

Post by nnickusa » Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:17 pm

only if you get lucky, and the headboard isn't screwed to the wall..... :roll:
I wish I was half the man my dog thinks I am....

Cheers,
Nick

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