Guitar Builders Quiz

Hesh1956 · Post by **Hesh1956** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 10:56 am

OK folks here is a little quiz for you...

The first one to answer all questions correctly will win a tub of multi-national lard.

1) In respect to a guitar the term "speaking length" refers to:

A) How long Obama spoke during last night's press conference.
B) How men have been known to verbally describe the length of something... approximately 2" longer than it really is.
C) The distance of an unencumbered string as measured between the nut face and saddle crown.

2) The "action" of a guitar can be "properly" adjusted with the truss rod - True or False?

3) A loose fret can be determined by:

A) Yanking on the blasted thing with channel locks.
B) Asking the fret how much for an hour's worth of time.
C) Tapping downward on the fret with something solid like a thick engineer's scale in three locations, both ends and in the middle.

Good luck!

kiwigeo · Post by **kiwigeo** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:33 am

Too hard for me.

sebastiaan56 · Post by **sebastiaan56** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:58 pm

Thanks for this quiz Hesh, I eagerly await the correct answers, until then

Speaking length refers to the cable between the amplifier and the speaker;
A truss rod is very useful for correcting posture, its true;
Loose frets are a real problem around here, the trains keep on running off them around the corners.

Rod True · Post by **Rod True** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:58 pm

Wouldn't you know it. I usually just answer 'C' for multiple choice questions

Dang-it, question # 2 isn't multiple choice, I'm screwed

Allen · Post by **Allen** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:02 pm

Are the answers back to front when you live in Oz?

Nick · Post by **Nick** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:25 pm

"1) In respect to a guitar the term "speaking length" refers to:"

The correct answer is:
D) The length of time the guitarist spends talking to the hot chick standing near the stage, when he should be getting ready to do the next damned song & the rest of the band waits!

"2) The "action" of a guitar can be "properly" adjusted with the truss rod - True or False? "

The correct answer is:
False.... It's not the truss rod that determines how much action a guitar has!
It's how much wood that's exposed that determines how much action it gets.

&

"3) A loose fret can be determined by: "

The correct answer is:
D) The Fret Board, it is they who should make a judgement on a fret's sense of moral values.

And before I collect the prize, I'll need to know who the Tub of international lard is! We already have a few 'over-indulgent' politicians of our own!

sebastiaan56 · Post by **sebastiaan56** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:23 pm

kiwigeo · Post by **kiwigeo** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:27 pm

Hey Heshie you left out question number 4:

4. What is deemed appropriate attire while working on a side bender?

A. Pyjamas and a pipe.
B. Purple shorts.
C. Allen's backless leather chaps.
D. Nothing in Hesh's wardrobe could be deemed appropriate for any occasion.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:49 pm

kiwigeo wrote: 4. What is deemed appropriate attire while working on a side bender?

A. Pyjamas and a pipe.

How about the rather apt "Noel Coward" look?
Smoking Jacket and a pipe. Then even if you cock up a side you could stare off thoughtfully into the distance holding your pipe & still look cool & sophisticated.

I'm not aware of Heshie's wardrobe Martin, is it full of large collared Paisley shirts and 16" bell bottomed Flares?
Personally I'd go for C)

Hesh1956 · Post by **Hesh1956** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:19 pm

OK no wieners yet but Nick is the closest so far.

I'll let this run another day or two to see if one of you can answer all three questions correctly....

Stephen Kinnaird · Post by **Stephen Kinnaird** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:10 am

Steve

WaddyT · Post by **WaddyT** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:06 am

I dunno, they all look like wieners to me!

Rod True · Post by **Rod True** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:58 am

Well, if you're being serious (which I don't think you are), than the answers are

C

False

C

sebastiaan56 · Post by **sebastiaan56** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:42 am

Ahh the pattern in the quiz emerges, next one will be all "B" answers Im sure, Im ready Hesh, bring em on!

Hesh1956 · Post by **Hesh1956** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:23 am

Rod wins the tub of lard!!!

Congrats bro!!!

Nick · Post by **Nick** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:50 am

Baa Humbug, it's a fix

You actually wanted the obvious answers?
I want my money back!!!

Rod True · Post by **Rod True** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:25 pm

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, lard. Man's way of sayin' "You just ain't fat enought you sorry assed bastard" LOL!

Thanks Hesh! Nothing like a nice tub o lard!

Lillian · Post by **Lillian** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:51 pm

TUB OF LARD

Best served very hot in a frying pan with potatoes.

Congrats Rod.

sebastiaan56 · Post by **sebastiaan56** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 3:29 pm

Hey guys, I reckon these foreigners were dead set about this quiz.

kiwigeo · Post by **kiwigeo** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 3:48 pm

Struth mate....talk about a Seppo stitch up!!! We should flamin' ban the lot of 'em!!

Lillian · Post by **Lillian** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:24 pm

Oh, cool! I've not been banned yet. I was beginning to feel a bit left out.

Dennis Leahy · Post by **Dennis Leahy** » Sat Mar 28, 2009 2:33 am

Alright Hesh! Way to go - now you've got the indigenous tribesmen pondering whether to ban our sorry North American asses for life!

Rod, all due respect, you need to send that bucket of porcine lipid to the southern hemisphere to one of our Australasian antipodean brethren or sistren. (If for no other reason than to enlarge their asses to the point where the Earth is once again stabilized, counteracting the planetary wobble induced by fat-ass Americans.)

Dennis
p.s. Translation key: asses=arses

Rod True · Post by **Rod True** » Sat Mar 28, 2009 5:24 am

No way, they got near as much roo lard down there than a guy could ever dream of. Actually, I think they make their Krispy Kreme dognuts with roo oil don't they?

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