Pong

matthew · Post by **matthew** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:36 pm

So ... I come home and decide to start fitting the fingerboard. Set it up in the vice (1" thick ebony plank) and started planing.

Oooh ..... what's that awful pong?

Smells like a dead rat.

Hmmmm

Lets have a look around. No, not here. maybe behind the wood rack? Grrrrr

Bugger, no not there.

Maybe I'm imagining it. Plane, plane, plane.

No its still there. bet its a dead rat. or maybe a possum outside? Or in the roof?

OK I'll move the workbench out. GROOOOAAAAAAAN. sheeesh that was me groin ....

Nup. Where IS that pong coming from? Its AWFUL.

(hunts outside. gets ladder, up on roof, inspects gutters and downpipes. Nup. Checks under verandah. Nup.)

Smells worst in the workshop. A real pervasive dead-animal waft of rotten flesh and eeeeeew yuk bleeuh.

Right next to the vice. Gawd its bad. No its not the ebony, either.

Sniffs armpits. Nup. Sniffs socks. Nup. Whew, i didn't think i could smell THAT bad!

So WHERE IS IT?

Steps back, sits on stool, surveying the catastrophe. Half an hour of wasted time. Workshop in upheaval. RANK smell. No clue.

.

.

.

Ah-hah! SO THAT'S the pong.

Guess what it was?

ap404 · Post by **ap404** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:39 pm

different · Post by **different** » Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:54 pm

busted sphincter !

ross

Hesh1956 · Post by **Hesh1956** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:02 am

Matthew M8 what is the prize for guessing correctly?

Question - was/is it organic (at least at one time)?

joel · Post by **joel** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:21 am

Did you have some old hide glue sitting around? It's made of dead animal, and even the fresh stuff smells a bit like dead horse to me.

sebastiaan56 · Post by **sebastiaan56** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:44 am

Its the customer in the corner who died waiting for her bespoke instrument to get the flopsit set correctly. You see I had to make this jig and I didnt have any 3/32 wingnuts with long wings. So I went to Bunnies and they didnt have any there so they rung a store on the other side of the city for me who had heaps...., so I drove there , through peak hour traffic, past three accidents, through the random breath test, but they didnt have any left as another customer came in about 10 minutes ago and bought 3 dozen and cleared them out,..... can you believe it..... So i got on the blower and talked to a specialty bolt store on the other side of town and he said he would ring his brother in law and would I like to wait for them to be express couriered and when we got them they were 5/32....... can you believe it.....and..... and.....

And I offered her a cup of tea while she was waiting as well......

Allen · Post by **Allen** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:48 am

My wife thinks rosewood smells like dog crap, but I kinda like it. What does that say about me.

But I don't think your bass is rosewood....and my socks aren't under your vice, so my guess is going to be some hide glue left percolating in the glue pot.

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:59 am

I'm voting for old hide glue too . Powerful stuff ! , although I do relate to your quest of 'sourcing the stink'. Can be most frustrating, to say the least ,and turn up other horrors you didn't already know about !

Hope the groin , or busted sphincter is improving mate

I generally end up with a good whack on the head or maybe a powerful ding on the bridge of my nose , sticking it where I shouldn't have !

Enjoyed your yarn Sebastiaan. It's just bloody typical ain't it . A good wing nut is hard to come by at times . Especially with the right size wings !

. If you look carefully round most Bunnies stores , you'll find the skeletal remains of many past customers left waiting a little too long for things like long winged wingnuts

Hesh , I don't think we do the 'tub of lard' over here as they do on the OLF as a prize. We'll have to think of a good Aussie alternative . Any suggestions ?
Howz about a pot of old hide glue , or the dead rat you eventually found

Cheers guys

matthew · Post by **matthew** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:21 am

Yep. A little vegemite pot of old hide glue in the heat. Only a tiny bit, but whoa .....

OK so this is morphing into a "what was your biggest waste of time" thread!

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:57 am

matthew wrote:
OK so this is morphing into a "what was your biggest waste of time"

Hell.,,,,I've had a heap those !

You drop the tiny piece of pearl inlay you've been delicatley working on under heavy magnification for the past several hours , or maybe even days.,,, It's sent you half blind getting it 'just so ' .

Down on your knees searching in the obvious places , but it's never there is it ??. No , so you continue your search further afield , but still no luck .
It's about this time you cop the obligatory bump on the nut from the underneath of your bench top. You curse violently ! Not pleased at all about all the claret oozing from the wound. Generally pissed off actually !
More and more searching reveals nothing. You call it a day. in sheer disgust, only to return next morning to continue the quest ,as overnight you've had a brain storm of where the little blighter may have lodged itself. But no,, it ain't there either.
Resigning yourself to having to do it all over again ,you set to it .
Many hours pass ,and you're working by the braille method by now , but you finally have the replacement piece finished . It looks just like the little piece you've just noticed sitting on the end of your bench. Not too far away actually

But wait , , there's more !!

sebastiaan56 · Post by **sebastiaan56** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:28 am

Sharpening drills.

I had this 5.5mm twist drill, great for all sorts of things but yes, it got blunt. No worries, off to the grinder....... 2 hours later, 30mm shorter, and razor sharp, cuts through anything 6mm deep..........

Dominic · Post by **Dominic** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:25 pm

Craig, I know that one but my version also involves my shop vac. After hours doing a detailed job on a headstock inlay (my first one) I put it aside carefully and then sucked it up into my shop vac while cleaning up. F&*k. Carfeully open up the dust bag. Oh, look there it is sticking up from the dust. F$%*k again. Well, actually only a very small bit was sticking up from the dust, the rest was smashed up and mixed in with the dust.

This is a bad thread, makes us think bad thoughts.
Dom

Taffy Evans · Post by **Taffy Evans** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 4:32 pm

Hey do you guy's write childrens books too in your spare time?? What a good read, I've had doom and gloom all week, thanks for that.

My wife complained of dead body smells the other day, workshop door is only two meters from the loungeroom door, I checked the Ratsack under the bench, undisturbed, went straight to the glue pot, yep spot on.

Shit that reminds me I glued up a fiddle last night....see yas.

Allen · Post by **Allen** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:28 pm

Here's my wasted time story from the past 2 weeks.

Went to Blackwoods 10 days ago hoping to buy some .008 shim stock for bending slats. After being told that they don't stock any because it rusts within days on the shelf, but there was some in Townsville and I could have it within 2 days, I was happy as Larry and paid for it on the spot. Told them to get it ordered as I was needing to use it as soon as it arrived.

Well, last Friday it was still a no show, so I was a bit pissed off 'cause it wasn't going to be available for my first free weekend in about 2 months. Oh well, I said to myself, not to worry, I can find something else to do.

So I'm there on Monday after work, and got blank stares from all the staff, telling me that it might be in 3 pallets that no one had unpacked yet. Come again tomorrow.

Tuesday, and it was "Nope, not in that shipment. Didn't make it up from Brisbane". I had a long discussion about what the hell was it doing coming from Brisbane when it was in Townsville a few days previous. More blank stares from the monkeys.

Wednesday was the same, but they were going to get to the bottom of it, and give me a call at work to tell me what the story was. Assuring me that it would certainly be there Thursday. They guaranteed it.

No call, so Thursday I rocked up again, only to get some more blank stares, then told that no. They don't have any and really had no idea whatsoever when some would be available. I'd just have to wait.

Now, I'm a pretty patient man, and will certainly give anyone the benefit of the doubt. After all, life's to precious to waste it on spitting the dummy every time you get a set back. But this was just too much.

Suffice it to say, I've got a refund, and I'll never deal with Blackwoods again as long as I live.

Rant over....I feel better now.

kiwigeo · Post by **kiwigeo** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:32 pm

It might be that moustache you grew last Movember......the thing has died and is going rotten on your top lip.

matthew wrote:Yep. A little vegemite pot of old hide glue in the heat. Only a tiny bit, but whoa .....

OK so this is morphing into a "what was your biggest waste of time" thread!

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